Looking for a different kind of sustenance this holiday? Check out our guide to restaurants that serve Thanksgiving eats.
photo: courtesy of Bridget Cicenia
It's been a rough year. Your wife divorced you for your brother. Your dog died. And Harry Potter seven was kind of lame.
Thankfully (ha-ha), Thanksgiving is coming to relieve you from your worries, and you're heading back to that one place you know you'll feel safe and secure: home, with your parents, your socially awkward cousins and, oh, don't forget the brother who stole your wife will be there, too.
So before you take that trip back to hell, take your mind off it all by partying on Thanksgiving Eve (aka Black Wednesday), the biggest bar and club night of the year. That's right; it's even bigger than your birthday. Sorry to break it to you, man.
Because you can never eat enough turkey…or turkey balls:
Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club
One of the unwritten rules of food is that it tastes better when there's more than one course, especially with the kind of eats you devour around Thanksgiving. Kit Kat knows this, and that's why chef Matt Stovey and co. will serve three courses (your choice of appetizer, entree, dessert and martini) from 5:30 p.m. to midnight on Black Wednesday. For example: Start with a wild mushroom puff tart, move on to turkey with dill mashed potatoes and gravy, and finish it all off by indulging in a pumpkin cupcake with caramel cream cheese frosting and a Cherry Coke martini. This hearty holiday meal isn't cheap, but the $35 price tag should be worth it.
Sheffield's
Sometimes politicians tell the truth; sometimes the movie is better than the novel; and sometimes—most rare of all—Thanksgiving Eve lasts the whole week long. Rare though it is, this is very much the case at Sheffield's, where you can score pumpkin squash soup, oak wood smoked turkey breast with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, and bread pudding all week, and all for the low, low price of $12.95! Well, it's not quite as cheap as eating free at your parents' house, but it's a heck of a lot cheaper than half the restaurants we’ve come across. Oh, and it's open at 7 p.m. on the big day itself.
Penny Road Pub
Some people act like eating testicles is a big, crazy deal, but doesn't everyone do it? Speaking of balls, Penny Road Pub is hosting its annual "Balls to the Walls" (get it?) Turkey Testicle Festival from 11 a.m-4 a.m. on November 21. For $2, you can get five testicles or two infused cherries (soaked in Wild Turkey). Live music will be provided by FnR and The Pimps on the main stage. And last, but definitely not least, the turkey testicle eating contest begins at 1 a.m., with prizes for the first, second and third place winners, and various giveaways for everyone else. Mmmmm, you can almost taste the testicle just thinking about it, can't you?
Because it's the one day you’ll drink Wild Turkey Bourbon:
Motel Bar
Thanksgiving is coming. The turkey's getting fat; please put a penny in the old Thanksgiving hat. Or is that a different holiday? Whatever. Thanksgiving is coming, and that means you'll be spending plenty of time with your creepy uncle and your dirty little kindergartener cousins with the pink eye and super flu. How do you cope with such familial dysfunction? The Motel Bar suggests downing its Wild Turkey drink specials—available for $3—at its Thanksgiving Eve celebration. The DJ starts at 10 p.m., and there's nary a cover in sight. Lucky you; you'll need that money for an early plane ride home.
O'Donovan's
Remember when Grandma got dementia? Instead of roasting an entire turkey all day long, she put large chunks of it into a blender and made cold, turkey-meat juice and forced everyone to drink it. Similarly, O'Donovan's will be serving Wild Turkey bourbon cocktails for $4 and Wild Turkey shooters for $2 (neither are made with actual turkey, raw or otherwise) to celebrate the big day. Additionally, hot glogg goes for $5 (add $4 with a shot of cognac) and the entire wine list will be available half-price per bottle.
MaxBar
Everyone remembers Black Wednesday, the infamous date when the British government was forced to withdraw the Pound from the European Exchange Rate Mechanism—wait, what? There's more than one Black Wednesday? Well, that's just confusing. Anyway, from 10 p.m.-4 a.m., MaxBar's hosting a Black Wednesday party that has nothing to do with English money and everything to do with Thanksgiving-themed revelry. Hosted by DJ Wild Turkey and DJ Cranberry Sauce, whose clever names make us really hungry, this pre-holiday dance party offers Budweisers and Wild shots for just $3 each. Early arrival is recommended for those who don't like waiting in a really long line.
Krem
Black and white is more than just a state of mind at Krem's Black and White Ball. There will be a hosted cocktail reception from 9:30-10:30 p.m., with special passed "black appetizers" for general consumption. As this is a Black and White Ball, black and white attire is "highly recommended," though we have no idea what would happen if you came in turquoise or something. We do, on the other hand, suggest that you wear the best of both worlds: a half-black, half-white suit like Two-Face from Batman. That would be massively impressive. For VIP dining or bottle service, call (708) 769-5555.
Plan B Bar and Kitchen
For bargoers who despise Wild Turkey, go with plan B. No, really, head to Plan B Bar, where you can score $3 shots of SoCo and Jameson instead, as well as $6 martinis and $2 domestic cans. Local DJs will be behind the decks, spinning a mix of '80s faves, rock and vintage hip-hop. Dig into a dozen fancy-sounding chicken wings for just $3.60 or order up some of its other stand-out bar food. Be sure to get your hands on a seasonal cocktail, like the Loaded Cider, with rum, butterscotch Schnapps and hot cider.
115 Bourbon Street
We can't think of a better way to pre-celebrate Thanksgiving than with '80s and '90s cover bands. After all, what says "Thanksgiving" better than the immortal works of Styx, Foreigner, Weezer and Oasis? 115 Bourbon Street will fortunately have both in equal helpings, with '80s covers by ARRA in the Big Room and '90s covers by Last Call in the Sports Bar. And if you're one of those traditional Thanksgiving nuts who only listens to "real" Thanksgiving music this time of year, then tell us—what traditional Thanksgiving music is there? It doesn't exist, people, so you might as well be cutting the turkey to the melodic tunes of Depeche Mode. This event lasts from 6 p.m.-4 a.m., but the bands don't go on until 10; cover costs $5.
McGee's
No Thanksgiving Eve would be complete without a bar crawl. Just like the time Grandpa babysat you and took you from pub to pub while your parents went turkey shopping. He didn't call it a bar crawl, but the principal was the same. Now, many years on, you can honor your 'pa by celebrating Thanksgiving Eve the way he would have. Join Bar1Events for its annual Turkey Trolley Trot from 8-11 p.m. For $20, you'll get a food buffet, domestic drafts and trolley transportation starting at McGee's and then off to Wrightwood Tap, Durkin's, Duffy's Tavern and, finally, Redmond's. Call (773) 868-8073 for more information.
Because it's better to bust a move than a button on your pants:
Barrio Boogalu at Sonotheque
The soul and funk revival is still going strong, and now Sonotheque has dedicated a night to Latin-tinged soul, funk and classic salsa. At 9 p.m.(cover costs $5), Barrio Boogalu pits Supreme Court (of Danny’s soul night) and resident DJ Joe Bryl as the Super Barrio Bros. against the Aguzate DJs, representing the Chicago-based organization that promotes Latin cultural events around the city. This will surely be a treat for the soul and funk connoisseur looking for a different vibe on Black Wednesday. Look out for giveaways from Fania records.
Samantha Ronson at Crimson Lounge
She may have just lost a big lawsuit against Perez Hilton, but Samantha Ronson is staying professional and bringing her quickly mixed collection of dance favorites to celebrate Thanksgiving Eve at her monthly Crimson Lounge residency. Show starts at 9 p.m.; there’s no cover all night, so spend the money you save on a signature cocktail or for bagging some holiday presents on Black Friday.
Green Velvet at Smartbar
Smart Bar celebrates 21 years of being one of the city’s best clubs at its blowout anniversary party with the legendary Green Velvet. No matter if he goes way back for classic tracks like “Flashlight,” dips into alter-ego Cajmere’s anthems like “It’s Time for the (Percolator)” or is playing the recent hit “Shake and Pop,” dance music fans—and those looking for an epic Black Wednesday—won’t be disappointed. Cover costs $15, and the performance begins at 10 p.m.
I Love House Music at The Note
I Love House Music Wednesdays just celebrated 100 weeks of bringing the sounds that made Chicago a pioneer in dance music to people in the industry and who don’t mind being hungover at work on Thursday. If the last two years were any indication, Black Wednesday will be mighty lively, with special guests performing alongside the I Love House Music resident DJs Jamie 3:26, Stephen P. and Paul Harris. It’ll set you back $5 before 11 p.m., $10 before midnight and $15 after with an rsvp to allaysoul@aol.com, but you can start the party as early as 9 p.m.
DJ Cassidy at Underground
To celebrate his birthday, Rockit Ranch/Underground co-owner Arturo Gomez goes straight for one of the biggest names on the celebrity DJ circuit, DJ Cassidy. Cassidy has played at P. Diddy events and three of Naomi Campbell’s birthday fetes, and for the likes of J.LO and Beyonce, so he’ll surely know how to entertain the Underground’s see-and-be-seen clientele. Dress to impress, arrive early (opens at 9 p.m.) and treat yourself to a seasonal specialty cocktail. RSVP to enlist@theundergroundchicago.com.
The Lessons Presents DJ Nu-Mark at darkroom
The Jurassic 5 crew is a rarity in hip-hop, as they always represent their DJs. Then again, a group with names like Cut Chemist and Nu-Mark behind the decks should definitely be touted. Nu-Mark has co-produced all of the J5 albums and still finds time to put out solo projects and mix tapes, like Blendcrafters, while touring the world. Tonight he stops in to play what will undoubtedly be a feel-good, energetic, heavy-on-the-funk hip-hop set. Throw down $10 before 11 p.m., $12 after and arrive as early as 9 p.m.
Looking for a different kind of sustenance this holiday? Check out our guide to restaurants that serve Thanksgiving eats.
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