Head to the theater on a Friday or Saturday night — only, this isn't the type of performance your grandmother would fancy. This new club/lounge in the West Loop was inspired somewhat by the mansion scene in the Tom Cruise-Nicole Kidman flick "Eyes Wide Shut" (you know, the scene with all the ... ahem ... masks).

Of course, no actual swingers sex is allowed. Gothic meets chic at Theatro, in the former home of Reserve. But don't waste your time studying the decadent chandeliers or the gold-plated masks on the wall behind the DJ. And never mind the nearly dozen bouncers built like Mack trucks. The real entertainment is the actresses.

Sexy waitresses in short black dresses behind the long bar serve a host of fancy cocktails. Or take your bottle and your posse to the large black leather banquettes. Make sure you can see the glass-enclosed stage at the center of the club. Every 45 minutes or so the blinds will be pulled up, revealing the evening's entertainment. A juggler? A fire-eater? A trans-gender diva? Every weekend's a surprise. Think you could hold that pose as long as she can?

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Centerstage Reviewer: Jacob Wheeler