1. 12 Bars of XMAS
10 a.m. Saturday, starting at the Cubby Bear; $30
Now in its 13th year, this Wrigleyville event is one of the biggest and most unique bar crawls around, purportedly attracting people from around the world. TBOX (as it's so lovingly called) takes its traditions seriously - well, as seriously as you can take cereal shots, bullhorns, spankings and crazy costumes - so if you're a virgin, make sure to pay attention during the opening ceremonies. Whatever happens, we're sure it'll be a day to remember (at least, one you'll try to).
Which Wrigleyville bars will you be going to? Take a look at our Virtual L and you might get a clue.

"The King" will help you fight for your right to a fun weekend.
2. UFC Fighting Seminar 2-5 p.m. Saturday at GoTime; $75 in advance, $100 at the door Only 30 tickets will be sold to this training seminar with popular UFC Fighter Spencer Fisher (aka "The King"). He'll cover everything from conditioning to Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu over the three-hour session; and don't worry, aspiring blood-letters, he'll also be signing autographs and posing for photos. BYOG (bring your own gear...or buy it at presumably hiked-up prices at the University Village facility). Participants must be older than 14.
3. Nellie's Holiday Express
Sunday at multiple locations (via Metra); $35 (call (847) 358-9150 to reserve))
Commuting has never been more fun than with this suburban excursion. This events starts at Durty Nellie's in Palatine for drinks and appetizers; get there when you choose, but make sure you're ready to board the nearby Metra at 5:24 p.m.; you'll head to Crystal Lake (enjoying treats along the way), and, more specifically, Duke's Alehouse and Kitchen, where food and beer will be in abundance. After an hour there, you'll head back to Palatine at 7 p.m. Who needs a designated driver when you've got a train to chauffeur you around?
4. Jeff Mills
10 p.m. Friday at Smartbar; $15, $20 after midnight
The forefather of the techno sound doesn't play out very often, busy as he is jet-setting and running Gamma Player boutique in Wicker Park with his wife. So you'd better take this chance while you have it. And bring your dancing shoes (and a dancing tank-top, if you have one); things are gonna get sweaty with all the serious techno fans in attendance.
The girls of CSS aren't the forefathers of anything, but they know how to make you shake your ass.
5. ThreeWalls Crystal Ball and Holiday Auction
8 p.m. Saturday at ThreeWalls; $20-$30
Sip absinthe in limited edition stemware, visit the fortune teller, show off that killer RenFair costume and, while you're at it, bid on dozens of boundary-busting art items at ThreeWalls' winter party. By taking artists under its proverbial wing, the West Loop gallery has built quite the fan club. Join it on Saturday (the pricier ticket includes a limited edition glass) and bid on some pieces for everyone on your gift list. Proceeds support ThreeWalls' exhibitions and artist-in-residence programs.
Art events are big this time of year; find something perfect to slip under the tree.