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Should I give him a chance or is he just a pervert?

Friday Jun 16, 2006.     By econfidant

Dating Feed

I met a guy online, we met for lunch and he seemed like a really nice guy, but afterwards he sent me a bunch of dirty text messages. Yuck. Should I give him a chance or is he just a pervert?

It's great that you had a fun lunch with your online match, but now you're wondering if the "nice guy" personality was just a smokescreen. Online dating is a great way to meet people, but there can be a few unexpected surprises—both good and bad.

He very well might be a nice guy, and just might move at a much, much faster pace than you are comfortable with. Perhaps he thinks he is just complimenting the hot girl he just met. Some people are more comfortable expressing their attraction to someone in less threatening mediums like emails and text messages. It's also possible that his true nature is the personality shining through in his text messages, and he would have rather skipped the lunch and hit the sheets.

What is critical is your comfort level. If this guy is making you uncomfortable, let him know: "Thanks for the nice lunch, but your dirty comments are making me uncomfortable." If he continues his dirty messaging after you express your discomfort, then move on—not just because of the perverted comments, but also because of his disregard for your clearly stated wishes.

If he apologizes and stops the text messaging, then give him another shot. There is something to be said for changed behavior and he may be worth getting to know better. Still, proceed with caution and save any decision regarding his character until you have had the opportunity to get to know him better—just as you would with anyone you just met.

Good luck,
econfidant.com

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